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Increase Your Profile Views With PhotoShop

Using PhotoShop to enhance your photos
might seem like cheating, but
everyone does it. Turn an ordinary picture into an extraordinary
picture!

1. Gausian Blur: It worked in old movies, it
   works on profile photos too.
2. Color Balance: "Is it bright in here or
   am I badly lit?"
3. Red-Eye Reduction: Digital Visine. It
   gets the "I smoked too much pot" look out of your pic
4. Healing Brush Tool: It's like a visit to
   the Mac Counter before a night on the town.
5. Enhance Abs: Use the brush tool with 0%
   hardness to draw out the shadows around your 6-pack abs!
   
   

Two-Thirds of Connexion Employees Still Single

Site administration is a lonely task. Just ask Ladd Bosworth, Connexion's head of marketing. "Just because you work for a gay 'social networking site' doesn't mean that you get all the hot guys," he says. "I mean, sure, I hook up all the time like everybody
else, but boyfriends? No so much."

You'd think that being on Connexion 8 hours a day 5 days a week would present opportunities for administrators undreamed of by all but the most sophisticated stalkers, but not so says Brandon, long term Connexion employee and top notch ColdFusion programmer. "I mean, I do get to chat all the time. And I don't even have to hide the window when Tim [Connexion president] comes over. But it doesn't get me anywhere!" According to Brandon most of his "chats" are with people trying to install Flash on their PlayStation or whining about
their penis pics being removed.

Indeed, a full two thirds of Connexion employees are currently single - not what you'd expect from a gay dating site. But it didn't start out that way (see chart). Perhaps it's the market downturn but spring is coming and love is in the air. So if you know someone that's looking for love, we know one place to start.

Connexion Employees
Ladd Brandon Tim

Certified Members Now Have Drama-Blocking Settings

87.6% of people mention their dislike of "drama" in their profiles. We've taken that as a call to action and added new drama-blocking settings for all certified people. Now you can hang out on Connexion all day and never be bothered with "drama". Everyone seems to have a different idea of what "drama" is, so enabling drama blocker will prevent anyone from seeing your profile or messaging you.

Connexion.org Buys godhatesfags.com

Connexion announced today that it was buying godhatesfags.com. Judith Martin-Smith, director of acquisitions, negotiated the purchase. "This really expands our audience. The existing Connexion site really didn't appeal to the fag hating, bigoted, anti-semite demographic," she said. In fact, the purchase increases Connexion's reach by over 50% (see sidebar). Analysts agree that this was a bold move for Connexion. In a phone call earlier this week Peggy Parker of Goldman Sachs said it "was the smartest thing they've done since Q & Q given the stagnation in the gay dating market. Now that gays can get married in Canada and four US states the dating market has really dried up." "I didn't want to sell," said Fred Phelps. "It cannot be gotten for gold, neither shall silver be weighed for the price thereof. [Job 28:15]," he added. "But the sodomites gave use a really sweet price. Now they can burn in hell and we don't have to soil our hands on the blasphemous internet." When asked why Connexion would take such a radical turn after years of supporting the LGBT community, Tim Gill, founder of Connexion and the Gill Foundation, said "Hey, it's all about the money. We have plenty of crap - I mean fine quality products - we can sell on godhatesfags.com. The income from Ann Coulter books alone could triple our profit." The price for the acquisition was not disclosed but knowledgeable sources indicated that it was purchased for a flock of goats and three breeding cattle.

Increased Reach for Connexion Connexion's acquisition of godhatesfags.com has the potential to increase it's reach by over 50%. Web traffic data courtesy of Alexa.com.